Mrs. Leighton, my Mom said I should tell you my story. So here it is, I am a Freshman in High School. HS Girls are mean, I mean really nasty. But what’s worse is you never see it coming! The best you can do is try to stay out of their way or try to be their friends, and MAYBE they won’t pick on you. But sometimes you just have to stand up for what’s right even when you know it won’t be popular.
So like some of the girls in the popular crowd (I was in it too) decided they had to make sure none of the other girls in the group had any other friends, outside the popular group. They made a list of the friends we could have, the clothes we should wear and even the boys we could like! I was out that day. The next day when I went to school they told me I had to dump some of my “other” friends. Because one had zits, another was a geek, another… well you get the picture. These “other” friends were good friends. The truth is I like them better than the popular crowd. But when you are in the popular crowd everything (Boys, school, lunch, parties, football games…) is soooo much easier.
I told them I didn’t know about that, and could I think about it? They smiled (looking back it was kinda creepy) and said I could. That Friday we had a sleepover like we always did. I got there late because I had dance after school. What I didn’t know was that some of them were hiding in the closet. They tried to get me to say bad things about them, when I didn’t they jumped out and laughed. It wasn’t a good feeling.
That Monday I told them to forget it, I’d rather be friends with “real friends” than with them. They made my life a living h--- for a while, but they got tired of it, and things are pretty quiet now. And you know what’s really funny? The boy I liked on the Football team? The one they said was “on their side” didn’t know about it, didn’t care about it and is my best guy friend. Who knew?!
Thursday, February 12, 2009
My Children Did Nothing - A Mother's Story
At a ballgame an older child was overheard plotting to hurt my children’s friend. Sure enough when the opportunity arose, while the ball was in play, this Bully flattened the child, and laughed! I didn’t find out about it until we were in the car on the way home. Even then the details were sketchy. Pieces of the story filtered in throughout the weekend. The little boy that was hurt is a family friend! His Mother is also dear to me. What upsets me most is that my children did nothing.
My Parents taught me that ‘a person who does not harm, but does nothing to stop it is just as guilty.’ I thought my children understood this did too. But when the time came to stand up for their friend who was being bullied they did nothing. I feel like I have failed. What do I do?
My Parents taught me that ‘a person who does not harm, but does nothing to stop it is just as guilty.’ I thought my children understood this did too. But when the time came to stand up for their friend who was being bullied they did nothing. I feel like I have failed. What do I do?
Now That's Thinking! (and a little bit gross)
Dear Stacy,
As I share this story I am laughing! Kids are so great, sometimes left to their own intellect they can come up with some pretty creative solutions! I’ve changed the names… but this is a TRUE STORY.
Taylor was 12. He liked school and made friends easily. One day he told his Mother about a boy named James, who had been taunting him every day in Math class. The Teacher didn’t see it, but because the bully was so often in trouble with the Teacher, Taylor was afraid telling would only make it worse… for her.
His Mom reassured him that she was glad he told her, it was not okay and offered him a chance to work it out. HOWEVER, if it got worse or was not resolved in one week she would speak to the administrator.
The very next day, at carpool Taylor practically bounced into the car. He was all smiles.
“How was school?” His Mom asked.
Taylor said “Awwwwesome, I don’t think James is going to mess with me anymore.”
Now it was his Mom’s turn to worry, “What happened?”
“Yeah, Mom, so like we had a Sub today right? And James was really acting up, he wouldn’t let her do her job. Now Mom, it’s one thing to pick on me, but it’s ANOTHER thing to harass the Sub. So I told him to “Shut Up.” “James said are you going to make me?”
“So you know what I did Mom?” She was afraid to ask.
“I got up like I was going to sharpen my pencil, ‘cause he sits by the sharpener. And this is the best part! I forgot to brush my teeth this morning, so my breath was reaaalllly bad. I leaned close to his face and breathed hot stinky breath in his face!”
What can a Mother say? He found a solution and solved his conflict, without fighting. James has not taunted Taylor since that day!
As I share this story I am laughing! Kids are so great, sometimes left to their own intellect they can come up with some pretty creative solutions! I’ve changed the names… but this is a TRUE STORY.
Taylor was 12. He liked school and made friends easily. One day he told his Mother about a boy named James, who had been taunting him every day in Math class. The Teacher didn’t see it, but because the bully was so often in trouble with the Teacher, Taylor was afraid telling would only make it worse… for her.
His Mom reassured him that she was glad he told her, it was not okay and offered him a chance to work it out. HOWEVER, if it got worse or was not resolved in one week she would speak to the administrator.
The very next day, at carpool Taylor practically bounced into the car. He was all smiles.
“How was school?” His Mom asked.
Taylor said “Awwwwesome, I don’t think James is going to mess with me anymore.”
Now it was his Mom’s turn to worry, “What happened?”
“Yeah, Mom, so like we had a Sub today right? And James was really acting up, he wouldn’t let her do her job. Now Mom, it’s one thing to pick on me, but it’s ANOTHER thing to harass the Sub. So I told him to “Shut Up.” “James said are you going to make me?”
“So you know what I did Mom?” She was afraid to ask.
“I got up like I was going to sharpen my pencil, ‘cause he sits by the sharpener. And this is the best part! I forgot to brush my teeth this morning, so my breath was reaaalllly bad. I leaned close to his face and breathed hot stinky breath in his face!”
What can a Mother say? He found a solution and solved his conflict, without fighting. James has not taunted Taylor since that day!
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